lavandeira.net

No, I haven’t turned gay (but hey, I don’t know about what will happen in the future). This is actually about a Japanese woman who decided to start looking for a boyfriend on GitHub, of all places. For those of you who (unlike me) aren’t computer nerds, GitHub is a hosting service for software developers who want to store their projects online using the Git revision control system. I know, it sounds nerdy because it is. The point is that by posting something like this on GitHub, it is likely that she has ensured remaining alone for the rest of her life. Or not. There are lots of desperate male geeks out there too.

Her original application (in Japanese) is here. I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I translated it into English for you.

Enjoy

Background

I’ve been getting old without being very interesting to men. I’ve started to feel afraid of not being able to ever get married. Because of this, I’m sending this application for a life partner.

Requirements

1. Non-smoker (required!).
2. His personality doesn’t change when drinking alcohol (required!).
3. Keeps in touch with at least five of his mid/high school or university friends (Facebook included).
4. Has at least twenty non-work-related friends who he has known for at least a year (Facebook included).
5. Can keep a fun conversation going for at least 30 minutes with people around him (regardless of age or gender).
6. Likes to play with children younger than primary school age.
7. Likes eating vegetables and natto.
8. Can talk to foreigners for at least 20 minutes without feeling uneasy (it’s ok if in Japanese).
9. Doesn’t blame others when there’s trouble.
10. Can make plans for his leisure time (travel, hobbies) and carry them out.
11. Doesn’t feel jealous when he sees a rich person, a very attractive person or a famous artist/entertainer (required!).
12. Doesn’t feel superior when compared to others.
13. Doesn’t place a high value on making an effort to become better than he was yesterday.
14. Doesn’t hate social games (GREE, Mobage)
15. Rather than Windows, prefers Mac or Linux.
16. No matter what happens, doesn’t resort to violence. (required!)
17. Doesn’t compare me to his mother.
18. Knows the proper Japanese salutations (“good morning”, “good night”, “itadakimasu”, “gochisousama”, “thank you” are required!) (*1)
19. Feels happy/satisfied regardless of his current state.
20. Doesn’t push me to do all the housework.
21. Doesn’t push his sense of values on me.
22. Doesn’t believe in the predominance of man over woman.
23. Doesn’t hide what he’s spending money on.
24. Has adopted the Seven Habits or sympathises with Peter Drucker.
25. Can be close to other people regardless of his own economical situation.
26. No matter what happens, doesn’t get emotionally angry.
27. Besides work, he excels in at least one of his hobbies.
28. Plays the classical or jazz piano, or is interested in learning.
29. He’s ok with not using a space heater in winter.
30. Plays computer games at most one hour a day, and watches TV at most 30 minutes a day.

The following are for engineers and programmers:

1. Can write beautiful code (required!). (* he cries from joy when he sees beautiful code)
2. Owns a home server (required!). (* It has to be Linux!)
3. Lets me play with his home server (required!).
4. Is sharing something in GitHub (required!).

I will reject the following people:

1. People who get angry after reading these requirements.
2. People who think about sending me an email complaining about these requirements.

Profile

Age: upper-mid 30s

Gender: Female

Marriage history: Never married

Height: 154cm

Weight: ? (chubby, I want to lose weight)

Personality: quiet, carefree, a bit obstinate, not double-faced, without honne-tatemae, curious.

Favourite words: duty, potential, freedom, contribution

Work: Systems engineer at a social game company for the last seven years. Java programmer -> mobile contents programmer -> social game development -> company systems engineer -> general affairs

Programming languages: Java, PHP, Perl, HTML, JavaScript, ExcelVBA (I’ve also started learning Ruby and C)

Databases: MySQL, Oracle, Sybase, PosrgreSQL

Operating systems: Mac OS, Linux, Windows

Computer: MacBook Pro Retina (Mid 2012) (I hadn’t changed my computer for the last three and a half years!)

Other devices: iPhone 5 (white), New iPad (white), Softbank 912SH (black), Nintendo 3DS (pink), PSP-3000 (pink), Wii, PS3 (cECH-3000B)

Games: Taiko no Tatsujin series (I have almost all of them, but I’m equally good at both the domestic and the arcade versions. I’m able to get nine stars in some of the levels. Recently I’m playing sometimes in a game center), Monster Hunter (I only use the great sword. My triG is HR5 (?), I brute forced the town quests).

Smoking: I have never smoked

Alcohol: I only drink once or twice a year

Favourite artists: Lady Gaga, Billy Joel, Nickelback, Linkin Park, Chicago, George Winston, ZARD, Kozo Murashita

Hobbies: Pro Baseball (I’m a Giants fan), playing music, doing stuff on the computer

Favourite books: The 7 Habits series

Self-introduction

I came to Tokyo seven years ago. I thought I would have plenty of chances of meeting men, but before I realized I was already this age. I’m an engineer, but rather than specialising in one thing I can do a broad range of jobs: from development to management, sales, etc. On my days off I sometimes meet my friends and go to seminars and events, but usually I spend a lot of time reading books, thinking and playing the piano. I want to have a happy married life without being a burden for my partner.

Contact

If you meet all the required items, and you have a score of at least 28 out of 30 (30 out of 34 if you’re an engineer), then by all means get in touch with me.

Email: (her email address)

FAQ

Q1. What’s your age limit?

A1. Older than twenty years, with no age limit.

 

Q2. How much should your partner earn?

A2. I don’t care.

 

Q3. What education history should your partner have?

A3. I don’t care.

 

Q4. I’m not very confident on my looks…

A4. I don’t mind about that either.

License

Copyright © 2012 Noriko Higashi

(*1) “itadakimasu” (頂きます） is said at the table before starting eating. “gochisousama” (ご馳走さま) is said also at the table, after finishing eating. There’s no direct translation of these into English.